My MS Journey - The Pain Behind the Beauty - amphotography


It took 10 years to be diagnosed and during that time I had countless weakness episodes. Because I have the Relapse Remitting type of MS it would come and go all the time. My right leg was the most affected one and it still is. If I force it too much with walks, standing for too long or exercising too much I feel It hitting me again. I can't run. I can't jump. But I can walk and that's what matters.

Along those years before the diagnosis I remember dragging myself to go to places. One day, struggling to climb the stairs at work, I noticed some people looking at me as if somehow I was making all that up. Many people thought I was creating that or that there was some psychological problem. Many of my family members thought this.

This picture expresses exactly how I was feeling during the strongest relapse of all. The one that led me to the doctor who diagnosed and treated me for years until I moved to the US. My whole body was losing the strength. Every step was an unimaginable struggle. It was like I was wrapped in some kind of power that weakened my strength everyday a little bit more. By that time my mother took me everywhere looking for answers. I couldn't walk by myself. I was at my worst. I was at the limit by then, but a thought always crossed my mind—nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass. I felt the truth was close to me. It felt frightening and liberating at the same time.

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